


Perp's Poems

by Perpetual_Screaming



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Poems, Poetry, amateur
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 09:36:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 2,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19438762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perpetual_Screaming/pseuds/Perpetual_Screaming
Summary: These are my poemsI just do whatever I want when I write them and sometimes they're for getting through stuff so they can be a bit emo or just silly





	1. "please don't read this"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written on April 29, 2019  
> This one is complete crack lol

He works at the movie theater

Sweeps the floor and sells popcorn

_It’s a living,_

He thinks to himself

Though it’s not the life he had dreamed.

His 25th birthday passed

Not long ago

But no one was around to celebrate it.

He doesn’t want to get close, you see

Doesn’t want to draw attention.

It’s better for him, he thinks

He wasn’t going to make friends anyway.

Being rude and deceitful 

Suits him much better.

A dog keeps him company on lonely days

He calls her Tink.

She barks at strangers

And growls

And that’s perfectly fine with him.

He’s full of tricks and games

He deceives the IRS

Every year

To save a few extra dollars.

He doesn’t want anyone to know his name

But sometimes, he has to give it.

That’s when he tells them

“My name

Is Peter Pahnne.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently this is what I had to say about it back when I wrote it:
> 
> _"So yeah I'm clearly not much of a poet, but occasionally I have ideas. This...uh...was an inside joke that I took WAY too far and now takes on the form of a more serious-toned poem...thing._
> 
> _Basically I was like 'what if peter pan was an average dude who worked at the movies and evaded his taxes' and my brain just took the idea, ran with it, and it quickly spiraled out of control."_
> 
> It got 3 likes on Pillowfort lmao


	2. June the Third

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I called this one "June the Third" and, what a coincidence, it was written in like 10 minutes on June 3rd, 2019

Lighter in hand

I reach for a candle

And from it

Ignite something that resembles life.

Pencil in hand

I move across the paper

And from it

Sketch something that resembles life.

Keyboard in hand

Letters below my fingertips

From them springs forth

Something that resembles life.

Phone in hand

Music in my mind

I let myself wander

And from it

Comes something that resembles life.


	3. Our Paradox Wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> July 1 2019

_Our Paradox Wall  
_  
There’s a wall  
Between you and me  
Made of glass  
  
And I am Eurus  
Standing behind  
Waiting for you  
For the wall is only an illusion  
  
And you are Sherlock  
Eyes raking over every detail  
Noticing everything except the space  
Between you and me  
  
All I have to do  
Is reach out  
And close the distance  
  
But that’s impossible  
Because _I_ am Sherlock  
And the wall is real  
Just as much as it is not  
I see it  
Even though it isn’t there  
  
But I am truly a fool  
Because while I was focused  
On the wall  
Debating its existence  
You were walking away  
  
But you were never really standing there  
To begin with,  
Were you?  
What I saw was a shadow  
Or perhaps a figment  
Of my imagination  
  
The walls are made of glass  
And glass is made of sand  
Your sand slips through my fingers  
And I scoop you up  
Again and again and again  
  
Perhaps I, too, am sand  
You scoop me up  
And I fall again  
Instead I’d like to be soil  
With nutrients  
To grow something beautiful  
Between you and me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yea I've been into BBC Sherlock fanfic can u tell


	4. Mask of Stone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> July 1 2019  
> Sort of a continuation of the last one, but in a different enough direction to warrant its own entry  
> (Tbh I'm a bit more proud of this one)

_Mask of Stone_  
  
Perhaps I am wearing a mask of stone  
You see me  
But you do not observe me  
You observe me  
But you do not see me  
Your eye skates over me  
And though my details you do encode  
They hold little significance  
A small puzzle  
Nothing more  
  
But this mask has holes  
And I see you through them  
You are my puzzle  
Just as I am yours  
  
The difference between you and me  
Is that you see  
And I _look_


	5. Traps and Snares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> July 3 2019

I found another bear trap  
Peeking from the snow today  
I took a good long look  
And walked away

Because I’ve stepped in those before  
And I know how it feels  
Cold jaws latch so tightly  
And it hurts to tear away

I’ve seen them often  
In these woods of late  
And I know they are for me  
For I am a ram with invisible horns

And they want my milk for their cheese  
Want to roast my flesh   
On their rotating spear  
Then pick at my bones

Sometimes I leave this forest  
Of bear traps and rabbit snares  
But always find myself returning  
For I have nowhere else to go

But that’s okay  
Because I know what to do  
I watch my step  
And find another bear trap


	6. Charged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> July 6 2019

_Charged_

Electricity crackles underneath my skin  
Static fills my ears  
With every surface I touch  
A shock runs through my fingertips

I can not move  
For I am afraid  
A single step  
Could stop my heart

(Just like his)

Would that someone  
Could touch a rod to my skin  
And siphon all my danger away


	7. Overflowing Bouquet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> July 6 2019  
> Apparently I get on a roll w poem writing when I'm stressy and upsetty

_Overflowing Bouquet_

If I sent you flowers  
What would you do?  
You would leave them at your doorstep  
To wilt and wither away

That is, of course, why I don’t send you flowers  
Though I still grow them for you  
Hold them close to my heart  
And glance at your door as I pass by

I often think about ringing that doorbell  
Leaving one gentle little rose  
And another, the next day  
And another, the next day

But you don’t smell flowers, do you?  
Or you can’t describe the scent  
So it’s fruitless, I know  
To have you catch a whiff

And now I’ve grown too many  
With nowhere for them to go  
My hands are full of roses  
Their thorns are pricking pricking pricking

I could pluck the petals  
But it would be such a waste  
And with each one that falls  
A part of me would dissipate

And I would throw them away  
But then the garden would be dull  
And the walls would be grey  
And my heart would be null

If you sent me flowers  
I would keep them in a vase  
Adorn every room in my home  
(Every room in my heart)  
Give each one its very own special place 


	8. Fire and Rain [Eye of the Storm]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> July 2-3 2019  
> This one is...weird. I wrote it specifically to work through some things and with the way things turned out, it reached a point where it was better to leave this poem unfinished.

_Fire and Rain [Eye of the Storm]_

First comes the calamity  
Run blindly through the flames  
Try  
To prevent the worst

Then comes the failure  
You were already burned  
But the others were charred  
To the bone

Stand for them  
Show them they can still walk  
Though your own steps  
Falter

Then comes respite  
The sun shines again  
Tentatively  
At least for a moment

But from the corner of your eye  
You see dark clouds swirling  
In the distance  
A shadow speaks your name  
It’s coming for you

Then comes the guilt  
Their burns will heal  
But yours are gone  
Memories of fire  
Flash through your mind  
All you can think is  
“It was red”

Wasn’t the air just filled with smoke?  
So why  
Is it suddenly so easy to breathe?  
Why do you respire  
When they are choking?

Is it okay  
To smell the flowers  
Knowing their neighbors are wilting?

Even still  
The darkness draws closer.

It haunts you now  
The breeze is just an illusion  
Ash is falling from the sky  
You weren’t looking  
But now it touches your cheek

It coats your arms and legs  
If you aren’t careful  
It will bury you alive  
Just like Pompeii

But keep walking  
‘Cause I hear thunder  
And you smell rain


	9. Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> July 8 2019

_Monster_

I think I’ve been possessed  
By a monster raging  
It wants to  
Punch  
Scream  
Kick  
Strangle  
Scratch  
Hurt   
_Maim_

Inside, my heart is shaking  
Struggling  
Throwing itself  
Against the cage of my ribs  
Desperate to be free

I must bind my hands, my feet  
Lie on the floor  
Of a prison cell  
As earthquakes rumble beneath my skin

Gunshots ring through my ears  
And I swear that bombs are dropping  
Swear the sky is falling

And I Must  
Contain  
My Monster


	10. Magpie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> July 17 2019

_Magpie_

Let me live alone on my perch  
High above the ground  
In my little nest  
With my precious treasures  
That I’ve collected just for me  
Away from the prying eyes  
Of the whippoorwills and the chickadees  
And that sharp beak  
Always pecking pecking pecking

Little blue jay  
Your feathers look more like scales  
You are my flock  
But you are not my friend


	11. Not Ready

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> July 18 2019

_Not Ready_

A flock of crows pecks at my flesh  
Tearing feathers from me  
They want me to wake up  
They want me to feed them  
They want me to fly  
Lead the flock  
Wherever they wish to go

Am I not a hatchling myself?  
Why haven’t I shed this fluffy down?  
But they see my contour wings  
And they believe I am to build them a nest  
It is my duty

But I don’t know how to weave those twigs  
I was dropped from my own high branches  
Before I could learn

I’ve never laid eggs of my own  
So why am I a hen?


	12. To Persist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> July 23 2019

_To Persist_

I was a little candle flame  
And you wanted me gone  
But no matter what you did  
I wouldn’t go out

You tried to drown me  
Your words a perpetual downpour  
But no matter what you said  
I wouldn’t go out

You tried to stamp me down  
But you only got burned  
No matter how many times you tried   
I wouldn’t go out

Your efforts failed  
And your temper rose  
So your next plan  
Was to throw me away

But I still didn’t go out

I live in a fireplace now  
And I’m tossed a log or two  
Though sometimes I still feel the ghost of your thumb  
Reaching for another chance

And it’s not my fault   
That you still smell smoke


	13. Brick in the Wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> July 25 2019

_Brick in the Wall_

Do you ever feel like a brick in the wall?  
High above the ground  
Away from chewed gum and frayed shoelaces  
Where no one will write their name

Do you ever feel like a fish in a school?  
Swimming alongside all the others  
But still so alone  
Where the only eyes that spot you are that of a shark

Do you ever feel like a stream of water?  
That slips through all the cracks  
Deep into the earth  
Where there is no bucket to catch you

Do you ever feel like a bird?  
Whose calls go unanswered  
Because yours are silent  
Or at a frequency no one can hear

Do you ever feel like a tree?  
Leaves wilting away to be buried under the winter’s snow  
Through the glass you can see the animals playing  
They don’t seek your warmth  
Perhaps you have none to give

My friend,  
They say that misery loves company  
And I could use another trunk to hold my leaves  
Another song with a bridge to match my chorus  
For birds of a feather flock together  
And there are plenty of fish in the sea  
(Who are friends, not food)  
But only one loaf for you and me


	14. Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> August 5 2019

_Closer_

I came across a song today, titled ‘Closer’  
And I thought of you  
Because the distance, this invisible wall  
Between you and me  
Is cold and lonely

But there’s a door I’m afraid to open  
Though I’ve held the knob so many times  
Because I know not what lies on the other side  
I know not what my eyes will see

Because you’ve always been an enigma to me  
And when I think I’ve cracked the code  
You slip away into the mist again  
Just beyond my fingertips

I wonder the person you would be  
If we were ‘closer’  
And I remember the dream I had last night  
That what lied beyond the door was  
Disappointment

And I remember that you and I were never meant to be  
‘Closer’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> buckle up children today we are EMO


	15. Cold Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> August 28 2019 (at like 1 am)
> 
> A short one!

_Cold Glass_

I know now that it was not love  
But loneliness

And what lies beyond that door  
Is not something I want to see

That doesn’t stop me from wishing on a star long dead


	16. Rubik's Cube

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> August 31 2019 (also at 1 am wow)

_Rubik's Cube_

You emerge from the fog once again  
That shroud of mystery  
And continue the cycle of the moon  
Waxing and waning

I see a crescent of light from my window  
And pick up that Rubik’s Cube again  
Always tucked safely right next to my pillow  
I twist and twist the panels around  
And it gives my wandering mind an anchor  
A beacon far beyond the horizon

I dream of pointing out each and every color  
Telling you what I see  
Maybe one day you’ll see them too  
(You won’t)


	17. CYMK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 3 2019

_CYMK_

I hate when the world is grey  
Clouds overhead  
A steady flow of light rainfall  
The patter sounds too much like static  
Crackling that absorbs all noise, all color  
Empty  
And something’s missing  
It’s the sun, of course

You’re a kaleidoscope  
On the inkblot, at least  
If I look very closely  
I can make out blues, greens, reds, purples  
Through the frigid lens of objectivity  
It’s just black  
Born of a need to see anything other than grey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will mention that the "inkblot" refers to the Rorschach Test, something that in reality is nothing but is designed to be interpreted subjectively.


	18. Season, Tegami

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 26 2019  
> 2 for the price of 1 grandma

_Season_

Rosebuds bloom and wilt  
And it matters not what shape my heart takes  
As long as you remain  
Just close enough to reach across the void  
And touch your fingertips to mine

_Tegami_

Emotions fleeting  
Like little letters drifting through the breeze  
Some are incomplete  
Some are overflowing  
So much to say in such few words  
One zips past my nose and flies away  
Lost in the blinding sun  
Others crumble at my feet


	19. Twilight Lullaby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 28 2019

_Twilight Lullaby_

Would that we could stay in perpetual twilight  
With the sun suspended over the horizon  
Washing the fields in hues of orange  
So the night would never come  
And I would never have to say goodbye  
To the things I loved  
All the games we played  
The many lives we led  
All those emotions we felt  
Those lessons  
Etched into our hearts  
And we would never forget them  
If we stayed in this beautiful place I call home

But without the night  
There would be no dawn  
No one to wake you up  
And call you to the next adventure  
So let it fall  
Watch the stars as they twinkle  
For they are beautiful, too  
And lead the way to another journey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uploading some stuff after a long time :)


	20. Mask of Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> November 19 2019

_Mask of Truth_

To me, you are a perpetual riddle  
I forever attempt to solve  
But I am an open book  
If only you so choose to read it  
Ask me the right questions  
I will speak no lies.

To myself, I repeat once more  
I grow tired of masks  
Why put on a pretty face,  
When the truth is guilt-free?


	21. Vagabond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> December 15 2019

It’s strange how much I’ve written about you  
When the relationship that we have is so sporadic  
Like two vagabonds meeting under a shooting star  
I’m not sure most others would call it a friendship  
Even though we are certainly friends  
With all that’s been said  
With all the time that’s passed  
The others who disappeared from us  
And we never heard from again

But distance makes it all seem so small, doesn’t it?  
And now you’re nothing but a question mark  
A wild card  
We exist across a wide chasm  
The darkness teeming with the unknown  
And sometimes you surprise me  
Meeting me in my corner  
And I wonder if that’s curiosity in your tone  
Or if I just imagined it

I fear that one day I’ll lose sight of you  
For I don’t know if we are ever meant to be closer than this  
And I’ve seen all too often the light that grows dim  
Either way, I think I would wish you the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> think i'm starting to sound like a broken record at this point


	22. Theory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> December 23 2019

_Theory_

To me that story has always meant the two of us  
And I know you love your puzzles and riddles  
So let me use my overactive imagination  
Just this once  
Let me put two and two together  
And believe that song is ‘For You’.

Though it threatens tears every time I listen  
For I know I do not deserve this.


	23. Doomsayer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> March 2 2020  
> wow some time sure has passed huh :)

_Doomsayer_

No one knows about the iron clamp around my chest  
I put on a face  
And they don’t see my arms trembling  
Don’t see that I can barely stand

As I face iron walls towering above  
I wonder why I have to live like this  
Why going outside feels like the sky is falling  
There’s a voice in my head that tells me it’s okay  
Everyone can do this  
It’s easy  
Yet my body betrays me

I wonder if swimming in that deep ocean  
Allows me to breathe  
Or will I suffocate instead?


End file.
